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Wednesday, August 29, 2018

What if a heartbroken Catholic knocks on my church door? ~ Fr. Andrew Stephen Damick




What if a heartbroken Catholic knocks on my church door?



I have watched now over the past few weeks as each awful page is turned in the growing sexual abuse scandal in the Roman Catholic Church. It’s been bad for years now, but what’s come out just recently is looking even worse.
I have been very hesitant to say much publicly on this, because it is so fraught with possible missteps. So forgive me if I misstep here. The reason why I am writing this is because it occurs to me that some Catholics will probably be looking to change churches in the wake of all this.
I have friends in that communion, and there are many elements in its history and its good works in the present which I love and admire, even while I have many criticisms for its dogma, theology and praxis. I am so sorry for what my friends are experiencing, and have even known some who were touched directly by this evil, including in my own town.
It horrifies me to see that trust has been broken again and again and the evil committed against both children and adults by those who are supposed to be caring for their souls.
Standing outside and looking in, I don’t consider myself qualified to make any criticisms in terms of a programme for reform other than to say that I believe that any clergyman who has committed any of these acts or aided or covered for those who did ought to be deposed and their cases referred to the appropriate law enforcement. And that is of course consistent with official RC teaching. And it is what I expect in my own church and from other Christians, as well.
I have little doubt that many Catholics will simply stop coming to church. I wouldn’t agree with their decision to abandon any kind of Christian worship, but I would understand it. When you feel like where you want to be is simply not safe, it is hard to bring yourself to go there in spite of that.
And I’m sure that for many this will be the end of their Christian faith. Christianity becomes simply less plausible when those who are its leaders fail so utterly in their duties. They do not become an argument against faith, but rather make it so that no argument for it will be convincing any more. Again, I hope that doesn’t happen, but I get it.
It will be easy for those of us in other churches to suggest to heartbroken Catholics that they ought to come to our churches instead. But I have three thoughts on that score:
  1. I believe that it would be both crass and cruel to exploit the scandal to entice Catholics to join our churches. Yes, I believe that everyone should be an Orthodox Christian, but I don’t believe that that is the right way to bring people into the fold, because it is a kind of deception. But I am sure that some are going to come on their own.
  2. We should not pretend that we are immune from these sins. (We are not.) At the same time, we should take what is happening in the RCC as a warning to be extremely vigilant in our own communities.
  3. If any former Roman Catholic wishes to become part of our churches, we ought to be sure that they will as time unfolds come fully to accept our own teachings and practices and not be offered merely a safe haven for those whose hearts are not truly with us.
If someone comes to our doors and asks to join our church — with whatever motivation that got them there — we cannot turn them away. But we can and must shepherd them just as we would anyone who wishes to become part of our community, assuring their full integration into church teaching and life. That will ultimately mean coming to believe and practice things differently from their former church.
We have to avoid the twin temptations of either 1) welcoming them without assuring that they truly are becoming part of our community in every way or 2) effectively turning them away because their broken hearts are not the “right” motivation that got them to our doors.
I have sometimes heard the idea that no one should be allowed to convert to Orthodox Christianity who has not done so essentially by means of a journey through reason, history, dogmatics, etc. But in my experience such converts are fairly rare (most, I think, come because of a marriage).
For me, the question is not what brought them to my door but about what comes next. In a sense, everyone comes with a mix of motivations. I have to trust that the reason they’re standing at my door is because the Holy Spirit brought them there.
If someone comes to us seeking Christ, we must receive them. It will take a lot of care and probably a lot of time to receive them in a way that will be for their healing and not to provide a religious “rebound relationship.” The key is to weep with those who weep, to give them Jesus Christ, and to keep giving them Jesus Christ.

thanks to source:

https://blogs.ancientfaith.com/roadsfromemmaus/2018/08/27/what-if-a-heartbroken-catholic-knocks-on-my-church-door/
 

Sayings on Fasting ~ St Symeon the New Theologian



Sayings on Fasting


St Symeon the New Theologian:

    'Let each one of us keep in mind the benefit of fasting... For this healer of our souls is effective, in the case of one to quieten the fevers and impulses of the flesh, in another to assuage bad temper, in yet another to drive away sleep, in another to stir up zeal, and in yet another to restore purity of mind and to set him free from evil thoughts. In one it will control his unbridled tongue and, as it were by a bit, restrain it by the fear of God and prevent it from uttering idle and corrupt words. In another it will invisibly guard his eyes and fix them on high instead of allowing them to roam hither and thither, and thus cause him to look on himself and teach him to be mindful of his own faults and shortcomings. Fasting gradually disperses and drives away spiritual darkness and the veil of sin that lies on the soul, just as the sun dispels the mist. Fasting enables us spiritually to see that spiritual air in which Christ, the Sun who knows no setting, does not rise, but shines without ceasing. Fasting, aided by vigil, penetrates and softens hardness of heart. where once were the vapors of drunkenness it causes fountains of compunction to spring forth. I beseech you, brethren, let each of us strive that this may happen in us! Once this happens we shall readily, with God's help, cleave through the whole sea of passions and pass through the waves of the temptations inflicted by the cruel tyrant, and so come to anchor in the port of impassibility.
  'My brethren, it is not possible for these things to come about in one day or one week! They will take much time, labor, and pain, in accordance with each man's attitude and willingness, according to the measure of faith and one's contempt for the objects of sight and thought. In addition, it is also in accordance with the fervor of his ceaseless penitence and its constant working in the secret chamber of his heart that this is accomplished more quickly or more slowly by the gift and grace of God. But without fasting no one was ever able to achieve any of these virtues or any others, for fasting is the beginning and foundation of every spiritual activity'.
  — Symeon the New Theologian: the Discourses, pub. Paulist Press. pp. 168-169.



source:

http://www.abbamoses.com/fasting.html

The Beheading of the Holy Glorious Prophet, Forerunner, and Baptist John ~ commemorated 8/29




The Beheading of the Holy Glorious Prophet, Forerunner, and Baptist John


The Beheading of the Prophet, Forerunner of the Lord, John the Baptist: The Evangelists Matthew (Mt.14:1-12) and Mark (Mark 6:14-29) provide accounts about the martyric end of John the Baptist in the year 32 after the Birth of Christ. Following the Baptism of the Lord, Saint John the Baptist was locked up in prison by Herod Antipas, the Tetrarch (ruler of one fourth of the Holy Land) and governor of Galilee. (After the death of king Herod the Great, the Romans divided the territory of Palestine into four parts, and put a governor in charge of each part. Herod Antipas received Galilee from the emperor Augustus). The prophet of God John openly denounced Herod for having left his lawful wife, the daughter of the Arabian king Aretas, and then instead cohabiting with Herodias, the wife of his brother Philip (Luke 3:19-20). On his birthday, Herod made a feast for dignitaries, the elders and a thousand chief citizens. Salome, the daughter of Herod, danced before the guests and charmed Herod. In gratitude to the girl, he swore to give her whatever she would ask, up to half his kingdom. The vile girl on the advice of her wicked mother Herodias asked that she be given the head of John the Baptist on a platter. Herod became apprehensive, for he feared the wrath of God for the murder of a prophet, whom earlier he had heeded. He also feared the people, who loved the holy Forerunner. But because of the guests and his careless oath, he gave orders to cut off the head of Saint John and to give it to Salome. According to Tradition, the mouth of the dead preacher of repentance once more opened and proclaimed: “Herod, you should not have the wife of your brother Philip.” Salome took the platter with the head of Saint John and gave it to her mother. The frenzied Herodias repeatedly stabbed the tongue of the prophet with a needle and buried his holy head in a unclean place. But the pious Joanna, wife of Herod’s steward Chuza, buried the head of John the Baptist in an earthen vessel on the Mount of Olives, where Herod had a parcel of land. (The Uncovering of the Venerable Head is celebrated (February 24). The holy body of John the Baptist was taken that night by his disciples and buried at Sebastia, there where the wicked deed had been done. After the murder of Saint John the Baptist, Herod continued to govern for a certain time. Pontius Pilate, governor of Judea, later sent Jesus Christ to him, Whom he mocked (Luke 23:7-12). The judgment of God came upon Herod, Herodias and Salome, even during their earthly life. Salome, crossing the River Sikoris in winter, fell through the ice. The ice gave way in such a way that her body was in the water, but her head was trapped above the ice. It was similar to how she once had danced with her feet upon the ground, but now she flailed helplessly in the icy water. Thus she was trapped until that time when the sharp ice cut through her neck. Her corpse was not found, but they brought the head to Herod and Herodias, as once they had brought them the head of Saint John the Baptist. The Arab king Aretas, in revenge for the disrespect shown his daughter, made war against Herod. The defeated Herod suffered the wrath of the Roman emperor Caius Caligua (37-41) and was exiled with Herodias first to Gaul, and then to Spain. The Beheading of Saint John the Baptist, a Feast day established by the Church, is also a strict fast day because of the grief of Christians at the violent death of the saint. In some Orthodox cultures pious people will not eat food from a flat plate, use a knife, or eat food that is round in shape on this day. Today the Church makes remembrance of Orthodox soldiers killed on the field of battle, as established in 1769 at the time of Russia’s war with the Turks and the Poles.

source:
https://oca.org/saints/lives/2007/08/29/102419-the-beheading-of-the-holy-glorious-prophet-forerunner-and-baptis

Abba Moses the Ethiopian (Aka Moses the Black) ~ commemorated 8/28






Abba Moses the Ethiopian. Icon, Sayings, and Life









Abba Moses the Ethiopian

Aka Moses the Black

Aug 28 – Sep 10 2009  14th  Thursday after Pentecost
 
Troparion    Tone 5
Thou didst abandon the Egypt of passions/ and fervently ascend the mount of virtues,/ and didst take Christ’s Cross on thy shoulders./ Thou wast glorified in thy works/ and wast a model for monks,/ O Moses summit of the Fathers./ With them pray unceasingly that we may obtain great mercy.
 
Kontakion    Tone 3
Thou wast enriched with divine illumination, O Moses,/ and didst dispel the darkness of passions./ Thou didst quench the pride of the flesh by thy vigils and prayers/ and didst go forth to the heavenly citadel./ O holy Father, pray to Christ our God to grant us His great mercy.
Abba Moses the Black
Today we commemorate Abba Moses the Ethiopian, one of my favorites. His story is one of extreme change. I think that is why I relate to him so much. I want to have extreme change in my life too. I was never as evil as he was, but I cannot see how I could become as holy and humble as he was either. And, in my mind, I know this is theoretically possible, but what separated us mediocre ones from the saints is desire.
 
Here are some famous sayings of his, from the famous Migne text. (http://www.scribd.com/doc/4592844/The-Sayings-of-the-Desert-Fathers-Migne)
 
My favorite is the first one. We would be saints if we only did this.
 
 
 
 
 
 

 
2. A brother at Scetis committed a fault. A council was called to which Abba Moses was invited, but he refused to go to it. Then the priest sent someone to say to him, ‘Come, for everyone is waiting’ for you.’ So he got up and went. He took a leaking jug, filled it with water and carried it with him. The others came out to meet him and said to him, ‘What is this, Father?’ The old man said to them, ‘My sins run out behind me, and I do not see them, and today I am coming to judge the errors of another.’ When they heard that they said no more to the brother but forgave him.
 
6. A brother came to Scetis to visit Abba Moses and asked him for a word. The old man said to him, ‘Go, sit in your cell, and your cell will teach you everything.’
 
8. The magistrate heard about Abba Moses one day and he went to Scetis to see him. They told the old man. He got up and fled to the marsh. Some people met him and said to him, ‘Old man, tell us where the cell of Abba Moses is.’ He said to them, ‘What do you want with him? He is a fool.’ So the magistrate went back to the church and said to the ministers, ‘I heard people talk about Abba Moses and I went to see him, but there was an old man going into Egypt who crossed our path and we asked him where Abba Moses’ cell is, and he said to us, "What do you want with him? He is a fool."’ When they heard this, the clergy were offended and said, ‘What kind of an old man was it who spoke like that about the holy man to you?’ He said, ‘An old man wearing old clothes, a big black man.’ They said, ‘It was Abba Moses himself and it was in order not to meet you that he said that.’ The magistrate went away greatly edified.
Abba Moses the Ethiopian
 
Seven instructions which Abba Moses sent to Abba Poemen. He who puts them into practice will escape all punishment and will live in peace, whether he dwells in the desert or in the midst of brethren.
 
1. The monk must die to his neighbor and never judge him at all, in any way whatever.
 
2. The monk must die to everything before leaving the body, in order not to harm anyone.
 
3. If the monk does not think in his heart that he is a sinner, God will not hear him. The brother said, ‘What does that mean, to think in his heart that he is a sinner?’ Then the old man said, ‘When someone is occupied with his own faults, he does not see those of his neighbor.’
 
4. If a man’s deeds are not in harmony with his prayer, he labors in vain. The brother said, ‘What is this harmony between practice and prayer?’ The old man said, ‘We should no longer do those things against which we pray. For when a man gives up his own will, then God is reconciled with him and accepts his prayers.’
 
The brother asked, ‘In all the affliction which the monk gives himself, what helps him?’ The old man said, ‘It is written, "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble."’ (Ps-46.i)
 
5. The old man was asked, ‘What is the good of the fasts and watchings which a man imposes on himself?’ and he replied, ‘They make the soul humble. For it is written, "Consider my affliction and my trouble, and forgive all my sins." (Ps.25.18) So if the soul gives itself all this hardship, God will have mercy on it.’
 
6. The old man was asked, ‘What should a man do in all the temptations and evil thoughts that come upon him?’ The old man said to him, ‘He should weep and implore the goodness of God to come to his aid, and he will obtain peace if he prays with discernment. For it is written, "With the Lord on my side I do not fear. What can man do to me?"’ (Ps. i 18.6)
 
7. A brother asked the old man, ‘Here is a man who beats his servant because of a fault he has committed; what will the servant say?’ The old man said, ‘If the servant is good, he should say, "Forgive me, I have sinned."’ The brother said to him, ‘Nothing else?’ The old man said, ‘No, for from the moment he takes upon himself responsibility for the affair and says, "I have sinned," immediately the Lord will have mercy on him.
 
The aim in all these things is not to judge one’s neighbor. For truly, when the hand of the Lord caused all the first-born in the land of Egypt to die, no house was without its dead.’
 
The brother said, ‘What does that mean?’ The old man said, ‘If we are on the watch to see our own faults, we shall not see those of our neighbor. It is folly for a man who has a dead person in his house to leave him there and go to weep over his neighbor’s dead.
 
To die to one’s neighbor is this: To bear your own faults and not to pay attention to anyone else wondering whether they are good or bad. Do no harm to anyone, do not think anything bad in your heart towards anyone, do not scorn the man who does evil, do not put confidence in him who does wrong to his neighbor, do not rejoice with him who injures his neighbor. This is what dying to one’s neighbor means. Do not rail against anyone, but rather say, "God knows each one."
 
Do not agree with him who slanders, do not rejoice at his slander and do not hate him who slanders his neighbor. This is what it means not to judge. Do not have hostile feelings towards anyone and do not let dislike dominate your heart; do not hate him who hates his neighbor. This is what peace is: Encourage yourself with this thought, "Affliction lasts but a short time, while peace is for ever, by the grace of God the Word. Amen." ‘

The Monk Moses Murin the Black lived during the IV Century in Egypt. He was an Ethiopian, and he was black of skin and therefore called "Murin" (meaning "like an Ethiopian"). In his youth he was the slave of an important man, but after he committed a murder, his master banished him, and he joined in with a band of robbers. Because of his mean streak and great physical strength they chose him as their leader. Moses with his band of brigands did many an evil deed — both murders and robberies, so much so that people were afraid even at the mere mention of his name. Moses the brigand spent several years leading suchlike a sinful life, but through the great mercy of God he repented, leaving his band of robbers and going off to one of the wilderness monasteries. And here for a long time he wept, beseeching that they admit him amidst the number of the brethren. The monks were not convinced of the sincerity of his repentance; but the former robber was not to be driven away nor silenced, in demanding that they should accept him. In the monastery the Monk Moses was completely obedient to the hegumen and the brethren, and he poured forth many a tear, bewailing his sinful life. After a certain while the Monk Moses withdrew to a solitary cell, where he spent the time in prayer and the strictest of fasting in a very austere lifestyle. One time 4 of the robbers of his former band descended upon the cell of the Monk Moses and he, not having lost his great physical strength, he tied them all up and taking them over his shoulder, he brought them to the monastery, where he asked of the elders what to do with them. The elders ordered that they be set free. The robbers, learning that they had chanced upon their former ringleader, and that he had dealt kindly with them, — they themselves followed his example: they repented and became monks. And later, when the rest of the band of robbers heard about the repentance of the Monk Moses, then they too gave up their brigandage and became fervent monks.
 
 
 
            The Monk Moses did not quickly become free from the passions. He went often to the monastery hegumen, Abba Isidor, seeking advice on how to be delivered from the passions of profligacy. Being experienced in the spiritual struggle, the elder taught him never to overeat of food, to be partly hungry whilst observing the strictest moderation. But the passions would not cease for the Monk Moses in his dreams. Then Abba Isidor taught him the all-night vigil. The monk stood the whole night at prayer, not being on bended knees so as not to drop off to sleep. From his prolonged struggles the Monk Moses fell into despondency, and when there arose thoughts about leaving his solitary cell, Abba Isidor instead strengthened the resolve of his student. In a vision he showed him many a demon in the west, prepared for battle, and in the East a still greater quantity of holy Angels, likewise readied for fighting. Abba Isidor explained to the Monk Moses, that the power of the Angels would prevail over the power of the demons, and in the long struggle with the passions it was necessary for him to become completely cleansed of his former sins.
 
 
            The Monk Moses undertook a new effort. Making the rounds by night of the wilderness cells, he carried water from the well to each brother. He did this especially for the elders, who lived far off from the well and who were not easily able to carry their own water. One time, kneeling over the well, the Monk Moses felt a powerful blow upon his back and he fell down at the well like one dead, laying there in that position until dawn. Thus did the devils take revenge upon the monk for his victory over them. In the morning the brethren carried him to his cell, and he lay there a whole year crippled up. Having recovered, the monk with firm resolve confessed to the hegumen, that he would continue to asceticise. But the Lord Himself put limits to this struggle of many years: Abba Isidor blessed his student and said to him, that the profligate passions had already gone from him. The elder commanded him to commune the Holy Mysteries and in peace to go to his own cell. And from that time the Monk Moses received from the Lord the power over demons.
 
 
            Accounts about his exploits spread amongst the monks and even beyond the bounds of the wilderness. The governor of the land wanted to see the saint. Having learned about this, the Monk Moses decided to hide away from any visitors and he departed his own cell. Along the way he met up with servants of the governor, who asked him, how to get to the cell of the wilderness-dweller Moses. The monk answered them: "Go on no further to this false and unworthy monk". The servants returned to the monastery, where the governor was waiting, and they conveyed to him the words of the elder they had chanced upon. The brethren, hearing a description of the elder’s appearance, all as one acknowledged that they had come upon the Monk Moses himself.
 
 
            Having spent many a year at monastic exploits, the Monk Moses was ordained deacon. The bishop attired him in white vesture and said: "Abba Moses is now entirely white". The saint answered: "Vladyka, what makes it purely white — the outer or the inner?" Through humility the saint reckoned himself unworthy to accept the dignity of deacon. One time the bishop decided to test him and he bid the clergy to drive him out of the altar, whilst reviling him for being an unworthy black-Ethiopian. With full humility the monk accepted the abuse. Having put him to the test, the bishop then ordained the monk to be presbyter. And in this dignity the Monk Moses asceticised for 15 years and gathered round himself 75 disciples.
 
 
            When the monk reached age 75, he forewarned his monks, that soon brigands would descend upon the skete and murder all that were there. The saint blessed his monks to leave in good time, so as to avoid the violent death, His disciples began to beseech the monk to leave together with them, but he replied: "I many a year already have awaited the time, when upon me there should be fulfilled the words which my Master, the Lord Jesus Christ, did speak: "All, who take up the sword, shalt perish by the sword" (Mt. 26: 52). After this seven of the brethren remained with the monk, and one of these hid not far off during the coming of the robbers, The robbers killed the Monk Moses and the six monks that remained with him. Their death occurred in about the year 400.
 
 
source:
 
 
Priest Seraphim Holland 2009.     St Nicholas Russian Orthodox Church, McKinney, Texas
 
This article is at: \
 
 
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4 Responses to “Abba Moses the Ethiopian. Icon, Sayings, and Life”

  1. […] Abba Moses the Ethiopian. Icon, Sayings, and Life В« Redeeming the Time To die to one’s neighbor is this: To bear your own faults and not to pay attention to anyone else wondering whether they are good or bad. Do no harm to anyone, do not think anything bad in your heart towards anyone, do not scorn the And here for a long time he wept, beseeching that they admit him amidst the number of the brethren. The monks were not convinced of the sincerity of his repentance; but the former robber was not to be driven away nor silenced, in demanding […]
  2. helen says:
    I love this saint, Father Moses the Ethiopian.  Praise the Lord for his saints; they really do care for us.
  3. Here is a story about him, from the homily you just transcribed:
    You know, there’s a story from the Fathers, Abba Moses, the Ethiopian, a beautiful story. The fathers would gather together if they had to judge a brother for something that he had done. And Moses was one of the senior monks, and he was called to this judgment, and he came; he was a big man, very large. And he was carrying this giant barrel. In some stories it’s sand; in other stories it’s water. But it had a hole in the back of it. And as he was carrying this barrel, the water was going out behind him. It doesn’t make much sense to carry water in the desert and be losing the water. People asked him, what are you doing. He says, well, I’m going to judge a man while my own sins are unnoticed behind me. He understood humility. He understood that he had sins that he didn’t even know about. So do we.
    http://www.orthodox.net/sermons/great-lent-sunday-before-great-lent-02_2010-01-24+sunday-of-the-publican-and-pharisee+theme-of-great-lent.html (will be posted today)
    There is a list of sayings by him, even on the Internet, where you can find everyting except happiness and salvation. I will try to find it.
  4. Good Sayings says:
    Famous Quotes…
    […]Abba Moses the Ethiopian. Icon, Sayings, and Life « Saint Nicholas Orthodox Church[…]…

Friday, August 24, 2018

Fallacy of Antecedent




Fallacy of Antecedent


It never happened before, so it never will.

Or it happened once, so it will happen again.




thanks to:

Thank You For Arguing, Jay Heinrichs 2007

Wednesday, August 15, 2018

The Sinlessness of the Theotokos




The article that we offer here consists primarily of portions from a manuscript entitled, O Full of Grace, Glory to Thee, which we hope to publish in the near future. As we are aware that our topic has recently become a matter of debate, we are now posting these extracts (with slight revisions) out of concern for the welfare of the Church and love for the Mother of God.

In recent years, among some teachers in our Holy Orthodox Church, a question has been opened in reference to the Theotokos: Did the Theotokos sin? How did this question arise? What has been the accepted opinion of the consciousness of the Church on this matter? Through the prayers of the All-holy Theotokos an attempt shall now be made to formulate an answer to these questions.
An Orthodox nun once gave a talk in which she spoke of the sinlessness of the Mother of God. It happened that a clergyman present remarked that this was false, and that, in fact, St. John Chrysostom and others of the early Church Fathers said that she had sinned. On being questioned about this afterwards, this clergyman offered to send the inquirer a paper he wrote while in seminary that treated this subject. Basically, all the sources that were referred to were modern Roman Catholic scholars making reference to early Church Fathers. In his citations, where the sinlessness of the Theotokos was in question, the early Church Fathers were basically speaking of her struggles at the Cross. They express opinions to the effect that she was confused, in pain, and suffered emotionally. Beholding her Son on the Cross it could be concluded that she was attacked with doubts as to who her Son was. For modern Roman Catholic scholar (especially with their concept of “Immaculate Conception”) this is sin, for the Orthodox, however, all this is not sin, but rather the struggle of our human nature against sin. In this case, it is especially true when we consider the fact that complete knowledge was not given until the Resurrection and Pentecost.
Although some of our Church Fathers have expressed the aforementioned opinions concerning the Theotokos at the Cross, these viewpoints cannot be termed dogma. It is because a reply to this question has neither been revealed in the historical information available to us, nor has it been formally investigated and articulated by the Church . There is no doubt that an exact answer has not been revealed to us, as St. Silouan the Athonite acknowledges:
“The Mother of God committed to writing neither her thoughts nor her love for God and her Son, nor her soul’s suffering at the Crucifixion, because we could not have understood, for her love for God is stronger and more ardent than the love of the Seraphim and Cherubim, and all the host of angels and archangels marvel at her.” (1)
But if we, as Orthodox Christians, for our own edification would like to reflect upon what the Theotokos experienced at the Cross we would be safe in using the hymnology of the Church as a reference point. It is in particular the Cross-Theotokions in the Octoechos that speak of this. They especially speak of her suffering terribly as a mother as she stood at the foot of the Cross, and in this was fulfilled St. Symeon’s prophecy. For example:

Standing by the Cross, O Jesus, She Who gave birth to Thee, wept lamenting and cried out: “I cannot bear this, to see Thee nailed on the wood to Whom I gave birth and escaped pain for it was without a man. How I am now gripped with pain, and wounded in heart; now is fulfilled the saying which Symeon uttered, ‘A sword shall pierce thy heart O undefiled One.’” (2)

Again:

“Oh my Son”, the Virgin cried out with tears, “Now a sword of sorrow hast harrowed my heart in that the assembly of lawbreakers with nails hast nailed Thee to the Cross.” (3)

And there are many places where the Theotokos refers to Christ in such terms as, ‘The fairest or most comely of all men”, and she cries out questioning, “Where has this comliness gone?” She also calls Him, “My sweetest Child”, or “Most exceedingly beloved Child”, and she often exclaims; “How is it (or Why is it) that Thou dost hasten to make me childless?” To illustrate her pain the hymnographer also says that while shedding tears, she tore her hair. So she suffered terribly and as she is the highest of all creation her love was more than any creature. Therefore she suffered more than any other mother could.
Yet did she at that time have a belief in the Resurrection? Or did she understand her Son was dying on the Cross for the sins of mankind? During her life in the temple she had already perceived that the Messiah would come to heal the effects of the fall on the whole race of Adam. (4) Her husband Joseph was told “he shall save his people from their sins” (Mat. 1:21). Christ openly preached that He would be crucified, and rise again, and that He was the good Shepherd Who would lay down His life for his sheep. Together with all this if we accept the opinion of St. Gregory Palamas that, “She flew high above all created things, saw God’s glory more clearly than Moses (cf. Exod. 33:18-23), and beheld divine grace” (5), then we should conclude that she also far surpassed the apostles in the understanding of who her Son was, and the mystery of His dispensation. So at the Cross she not only lamented as a mother but as a faithful handmaiden of the Lord she also glorified her Son and God. As the hymnographer writes, at the cross she cried out:

“Woe is me my Child how divine and unutterable is Thy dispensation by which Thou dost enliven Thy creation; I hymn Thy tenderhearted compassion (6)…
“The world rejoices receiving deliverance through Thee: my inner self burns beholding Thy crucifixion which Thou dost bear for the sake of Thy merciful kindheartedness, O God, most-good and sinless Lord. (7)…
“Thou hast torn asunder the handwriting of Adam being pierced with a spear O Master (8)…
“But I pray do not leave me in the world alone make haste to resurrect, and also raise up our forefather.” (9)

This is what we see in the life of the Church concerning the Theotokos at the Cross, not the idea that she sinned. Yet is it hard to believe that the Theotokos did not sin? If we consider this from a merely human, logical, and rational point of view it is indeed difficult. On the other hand if we consider this question in the context of the history of salvation, and eternal life in God’s kingdom, it will be easy to accept. The incarnation of Christ and the deification of man was God’s plan of salvation from all eternity, “the mystery which hath been hid from the ages” (Col. 1:26). Who and what did God the Father want the woman who would give birth to His Son to be? Could it be other than the highest of all creation, ever-virgin, and sinless. This is so logical, this has to be.
Although we do believe the Theotokos had no actual sin, she was born, as were all the descendants of Adam, with the effect of sin upon her human nature. Yet she was brought into the temple at the young age of three, and there she led a life of prayer, fasting and study of the Scriptures. She struggled with the effect of sin upon her human nature and she overcame it. In this respect, she was victorious and did not sin, even though she bore the nature of fallen man. If one were immersed in the services of the Church this would be so natural to believe.
Let us now turn to the testimony of one of our more recent saints, and then explain how it was that the Theotokos could have acquired the power to be victorious over sin. In the writings of St. Silouan the Athonite we read: "In church I was listening to a reading from the prophet Isaiah, and at the words, 'Wash you, make you clean,' I reflected, 'Maybe the Mother of God sinned at one time or another, if only in thought.' And, marvelous to relate, in unison with my prayer a voice sounded in my heart, saying clearly, 'The Mother of God never sinned even in thought.' Thus did the Holy Spirit bear witness in my heart to her purity." (10)
But how is it possible for any human being not to sin, even in thought? To answer this, let us review some of the information we have about the life of the Mother of God. At the tender age of three, the Theotokos was dedicated to God, having been brought into the temple by her parents. And what was her life like there? In the Apocryphal Gospel of St. Matthew we read:

"Mary was held in admiration by all the people of Israel; and when she was three years old, she walked with a step so mature, she spoke so perfectly, and spent her time so assiduously in the praises of God that all were astonished at her and wondered...She was so constant in prayer, and her appearance was so beautiful and glorious, that scarcely anyone could look into her face...And this was the order that she had set for herself: From the morning to the third hour she remained in prayer; from the third to the ninth she was occupied with weaving; and from the ninth she again applied herself to prayer. She did not retire from praying until there appeared to her an angel of the Lord from whose hand she used to receive food; and thus she became more and more perfect in the work of God. Then, when the older virgins rested from the praises of God, she did not rest at all; so that in the praises and vigils of God none were found before her, no one more learned in the wisdom of the law of God, more lowly in humility, more elegant in singing, more perfect in all virtue. She was indeed steadfast, immovable, unchangeable, and daily advancing to perfection...She was always engaged in prayer and in searching the law...." (11)

According to St. Gregory Palamas it was at this time that she acquired a state of ceaseless interior prayer. (12) In a homily on the Entry of the Theotokos into the Temple, St. Gregory, while describing her sojourn there, makes Mary the model for the life of the one who treads upon the path of interior prayer. Praising the Most Pure One, he tells us that she

"chose to live in solitude out of the sight of all, inside the sanctuary. There, having loosed every bond with material things, shaken off every tie and even risen above sympathy towards her own body, she united her mind with its inclination to turn within itself, with attention and unceasing holy prayer. Having become her own mistress by this means, and being established above the jumble of thoughts in all their different guises, and above absolutely every form of being, she constructed a new, indescribable way to heaven, which could be called silence of mind. Intent upon this silence, she flew high above all created things, saw God’s glory more clearly than Moses (cf. Exod. 33:18-23), and beheld divine grace. Such experiences are completely beyond the scope of men’s senses, but they are a gracious and holy sight for spotless souls and minds." (13)

So then, according to St. Gregory Palamas, our Most Pure Lady while dwelling in the Temple, through "unceasing holy prayer" ascended to a great spiritual height formerly unknown. In speaking of the experience of struggling in such prayer and the fruit it conveys he writes:

"It is through contemplation that a person is made divine, not by speculative analogies on the basis of skillful reasoning and observations – perish the thought (this is something base and human) – but under the guidance of stillness. Continuing in our life’s upper room (cf. Acts 1:13-14), as it were in prayers and supplications night and day, in some way we touch that blessed nature that cannot be touched.
“Thus the light beyond our perception and understanding is diffused ineffably within those whose hearts have been purified by holy stillness, and they see God within themselves as in a mirror” (cf. 2Cor. 3:18). (14)

So Mary acquired a unique intimacy with God that prepared her to become His dwelling place. It is no wonder that, having attained to such a state, when she was obliged to leave the Temple and marry, she vowed a life of virginity. For how could one who was thus united with God unite herself with a man! Such a prayerful state of soul is thus described by St. Silouan the Athonite:

The young man seeks a bride for himself, and the maiden looks for a bridegroom. This is the earthly order of life, blessed by God. But the soul chosen of the Lord for Himself, the soul He suffers to taste of the sweetness of the love of God, does not set earthly life on a par with the love of God – she is absorbed in God alone, and attaches herself to no earthly thing. And if earthly thoughts come she takes no delight in them, for she cannot love the things of this earth – all her longing is for the things of heaven. (15)

And such is the power of the interior prayer which the Mother of God attained to, that it was this divine action that kept her free from sin throughout her entire life.
Although this may seem hard to believe, yet through "unceasing holy prayer" -- to use the terminology of St. Gregory -- Mary, the Mother of God, accomplished this. But why is this prayer designated "holy" and why does St. Gregory say “it is through contemplation that a person is made divine”? In order to answer this and conclude our discussion let us define both prayer and its stages. This will properly illustrate the power of grace-filled prayer, the same power that kept the Theotokos free from sin.
Archimandrite Sophrony gives us an outline of the stages in prayer when, in reference to the Jesus Prayer, he writes:

"It is possible to establish a certain sequence in the development of this prayer. First, it is a verbal matter: we say the prayer with our lips while trying to concentrate our attention on the Name and the words. Next, we no longer move our lips but pronounce the Name of Jesus Christ, and what follows after, in our minds, mentally. In the third stage mind and heart combine to act together: the attention of the mind is centered in the heart and the prayer said there. Fourthly, the prayer becomes self-propelling. This happens when the prayer is confirmed in the heart and, with no especial effort on our part, continues there, where the mind is concentrated. Finally, the prayer, so full of blessing, starts to act like a gentle flame within us, as an inspiration from on High, rejoicing the heart with a sensation of divine love and delighting the mind in spiritual contemplation. This last state is sometimes accompanied by a vision of Light."(16)

Bishop Kallistos Ware gives us a number of definitions of prayer which have some relation to the stages explained above. He first refers to a definition in an English dictionary that describes prayer as "a solemn request to God."(17) This can correspond to the first two stages spoken of by Archimandrite Sophrony. Prayer being described as an act of petition of man to God can be either verbalized or pronounced in one's mind. In a second definition he quotes St. Theophan the Recluse, who says concerning prayer that "the principle thing is to stand before God with the mind in the heart, and to go on standing before Him unceasingly day and night until the end of life."(18) Bishop Kallistos points out that to pray "is no longer to ask for things," but it is "to stand before God, to enter into an immediate and personal relationship with Him."(19) This can correspond with the third stage mentioned above, yet this is still predominantly an action initiated by man. As Bishop Kallistos continues, "stress is laid primarily on what is done by man rather than God."(20) The third definition given by Bishop Kallistos relates to the fourth and fifth states spoken of by Archimandrite Sophrony. He quotes St. Gregory of Sinai who says, "'Prayer is God, who works all things in all men'(21) -- it is not something which I initiate but in which I share; it is not primarily something which I do but which God is doing in me -- it is to cease doing things on our own and to enter into the action of God."(22) It is this stage of prayer that is a participation in the action or energy or life of God that many of our Holy Fathers reached and brought to a degree of perfection through their asceticism. The end of this state is a "manifestation of baptism", (23) it is a birth from God; therefore it is a new beginning, a new mode of life in which the grace of the Holy Spirit is perceptible and operative. This is the birth and stage of grace that John the Theologian writes of when he says: "No one born of God commits sin; for God's nature abides in him, and he cannot sin because he is born of God."(I John 3:9) So this is why unceasing prayer can be called “holy” and contemplation can be said to make a person “divine”.
What then can we say about the spiritual stature of the Theotokos? What spiritual height did Mary, the Theotokos, acquire while living in the Temple? She was brought there at the young age of three, providentially guarded from the temptations of this world, lived in strict asceticism and was nourished with the Scriptures and with prayer to God. And at the time of the Annunciation, when the "Holy Spirit came upon her and the power of the most High overshadowed her"(Luke 1:35), to what state of purity and grace was she raised? It is beyond our comprehension. We can only marvel at the state of the grace of the Holy Spirit which she acquired and with which she was endowed. It was the power of this grace of the Holy Spirit that prepared her to be the all-pure and all-holy dwelling place of God and that kept her free from sin all her days.
How then can we as Orthodox allow ourselves to welcome or entertain speculations of those outside the Church? We must live within the Holy Tradition of our Church. This living within tradition has been superbly described by Vladimir Lossky when he said that "to be within the Tradition, is to keep the living truth in the Light of the Holy Spirit."(24) The Mother of God is our "Victorious Leader"(25), who shared in our fallen human nature but did not succumb to sin through human weakness. She struggled against sin and overcame it; she was “never subject to the taint of sin”. (26) She is the prototype of the life of a monastic, being the mother and foundress of the path of interior prayer and stillness. In cultivating these ascetic practices, she reached such a state of purity that God chose her to be His mother according to the flesh. She thus became the Mediatress between heaven and earth, and our "Victorious Leader." As a mother she shared in the suffering and Cross of her Son and our God, and by bearing this cross, she was brought to a higher state of perfection. Thus she is our model for struggles, and again, our "Victorious Leader." O Theotokos, "as Thou dost possess invincible might, set us free from every calamity, that we may cry to Thee: Rejoice, O Bride unwedded."(27)

(1) Archimandrite Sophrony (Sakharov), St. Silouan the Athonite, trans. Rosemary Edmonds, Tolleshunt Knights by Maldon, Essex, England, Patriarchal Stavropegic Monastery of St. John the Baptist, 1991, p. 392
(2) The Ochtoechos, Tone 5, Friday Matins Aposticha (all hymns from the Octoechos are original translations from the Slavonic)
(3) Ibid. Tone 4, Wednesday Matins Canon, Ode 6
(4) cf., Saint Gregory Palamas, Mary the Mother of God, Sermons by Saint Gregory Palamas, edited by Christopher Veniamin, On the Entry of the Mother of God into the Holy of Holies, South Canaan, PA, Mount Thabor Publishing 2005
(5) Saint Gregory Palamas, Mary the Mother of God, Sermons by Saint Gregory Palamas, p. 47
(6) The Ochtoechos, Tone 8, Friday Matins, Sessional Hymn after the second reading of the Psalter
(7) Ibid., Tone 8 Wednesday Matins, Sessional Hymn after the first reading from the Psalter
(8) Ibid., Tone 4, Friday Matins Canon, Ode 4
(9) Ibid., Tone 4 Thursday Vespers, Lord I call
(10) Archimandrite Sophrony (Sakharov), Saint Silouan the Athonite, p. 392.
(11) The Gospel of Pseudo-Matthew, The Ante-Nicene Fathers, The Writings of the Fathers down to 325 A. D., ed. The Very Rev. Alexander Roberts, D.D., and James Donaldson, LL. D., Vol. VIII, WM. B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, Grand Rapids Michigan, 1956, p.371.
(12) Saint Gregory’s view of the prayer life of the Theotokos while she lived at the temple is not unique among the Fathers of the Church. He has indeed gone into greater detail on this subject than others yet before him Saints Jerome, George of Nicomedia, and Theophylact of Ochrid have written of her contemplative life and frequent visitation of angels at that time. This standpoint has the apocryphal accounts as its basis. (Saint Demetrius of Rostov, The Great Collection of the Lives of the Saints, trans. Father Thomas Marretta, Vol. III: November, House Springs Missouri 63051, Chrysostom Press,1997, pp. 479-491).
(13) Saint Gregory Palamas, Mary the Mother of God, Sermons by Saint Gregory Palamas, p. 47 (see also, Paisius Velichkovsky, LittleRussian Philokalia, Vol. IV: St. Paisius Velichkovsky, St. Herman Press * St. Paisius Abbey Press, Forestville, California 95436, 1994, pp. 33-34)).
(14) Ibid. pp. 43-44, and p. 33.
(15) Archimandrite Sophrony (Sakharov), Saint Silouan the Athonite, p. 502.
(16) Archmandrite Sophrony (Sakharov) His Life Is Mine, trans. Rosemary Edmonds, Crestwood, New York, St. Vladimir's Seminary Press, 1977, p. 113
(17) Bishop Kallistos of Diokleia, The Power of the Name, New Edition, Convent of the Incarnation, Fairacres Oxford, SLG Press, 1986, p. 1
(18) Ibid. p. 1
(19) Ibid. p. 1
(20) Ibid. p. 1
(21) Ibid. p. 2
(22) Ibid. p. 2
(23) Ibid. p. 2
(24) Leonid Ouspensky & Vladimir Lossky, The Meaning of Icons, trans. G. E. H. Palmer& E. Kadloubovsky, Revised Edition, Crestwood, New York, St. Vladimir's Seminary Press, 1982, p. 19
(25) Kontakion of the Annunciation, trans., Book of Canons, Very Rev. Theodore Heckman, South Canaan, Pennsylvania, St. Tikhon's Seminary Press, 1984, p. 89
(26) The Festal Menaion, Trans. Mother Mary and Kallistos Ware, 24 Russel Square, London, England, Faber and Faber Limited, 1969, p. 190
(27) Book of Canons, Very Rev. Theodore Heckman, pp. 89-90
 
 
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The Veneration of the Virgin Mary in the Orthodox Church



The Veneration of the Virgin Mary in the Orthodox Church

Tikhvin icon of the Mother of God. Tikhvin icon of the Mother of God.
Because of recent discussions about the Catholic Church's considering defining a new dogma concerning the Virgin Mary it might be of interest to Christians of other Churches to have some explanation of the Orthodox Church's position concerning her.
The Orthodox Church honors and venerates the Virgin Mary as "more honourable than the Cherubim and more glorious without compare than the Seraphim …" Her name is mentioned in every service, and her intercession before the throne of God is asked. She is given the title of "Theotokos" (Greek for "Birth-giver-of-God), as well as "Mother of God". She has a definite role in Orthodox Christianity, and can in no way be considered an instrument which, once used, was laid aside and forgotten.
Objections to the veneration of the Theotokos are based primarily on what is called "a lack of scriptural evidence to support such a practice." While it is true that the Church depends heavily on her Tradition other than Holy Scripture (Ecumenical Councils, liturgical books, and the writings of the Fathers) for details and the precise definition of the nature of the veneration of the Virgin Mary, there are several passages of the New Testament that really form the basis for our practice.
The angel Gabriel was sent by God to announce to the Virgin the birth of the Saviour: "Hail, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women." (Luke 1:28) This angelic salutation forms a part of the hymn of the Church most frequently sung in her honor. Could we be wrong in repeating the words of the very messenger of God? Elizabeth, the Virgin's cousin, considered it an honor for the Mother of her Lord to visit her. "And whence is this to me that the Mother of my Lord should come to me?" (Luke 1:43) Is there any real difference between saying "Mother of God" and "Mother of the Lord"? Surely, God is the Lord! (Psalm 118:27) In the course of her visit to Elizabeth, the Blessed Virgin spoke the words that form the principal hymn sung in her honor at the Matins service.
My soul doth magnify the Lord, and my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour. For He hath regarded the low estate of His handmaiden, for, behold, from henceforth all generations shall call me blessed." (Luke 1: 47-48)
Elizabeth had already been "filled with the Holy Spirit", precisely that she might cry out: "Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb." (Luke 1:41, 42) This honor given the Theotokos by her cousin is exactly what all generations of the Church do when they call her blessed. Finally, when Jesus saw His mother and the disciple John standing by the cross, He entrusted him with her care, but He also established a new spiritual relationship between them in saying to the disciple: "Behold thy Mother!" (John 19:27) What possible significance could this declaration of our Lord have except to make His Mother the Mother of all Christians? If she really had other children would she be in need of an outsider's home?
The Incarnation of God was foretold in the Old Testament. A race was chosen for a specific purpose: to produce a holy humanity from which God could take flesh. Mary is the one who, in the Lord's words, "heard the word of God and kept it." (Luke 11:28) Through her personal sinlessness she fulfilled all the hopes and prophecies of Israel. She figured greatly in the very prophecies, the most important of which is that of Isaiah: "Behold, a virgin shall conceive, and bear a son, and shall call his name Emmanuel." (Isaiah 7:14) The Church has always considered the following as prefigures or symbols of the role of the Theotokos in the Divine plan, and appoints them to be read on the eves of three of the feasts dedicated to her memory. The first is the story of Jacob's ladder, which refers to her being the means by which God chose to enter into the world physically. "He saw in his sleep a ladder standing upon the earth, and the top thereof touching heaven, the angels also of God ascending and descending by it". (Genesis 28:12) Then from the Prophecy of Ezekiel are the words concerning her perpetual virginity: "And the Lord said unto me: This gate shall be shut, it shall not be opened, and no man shall pass through it; because the Lord God of Israel hath entered in by it, and it shall be shut." (Ezekiel 44:2) The same is true of the burning bush seen by Moses: Mary contained in her womb the God-man, Jesus Christ, the God who is a consuming fire, and was not consumed.
The consequences of denying the Theotokos a part in the life of Christians are more serious than one may think in view of all its implications. Orthodox theology insists upon the two perfect natures of our Lord Jesus Christ; He was perfect God and perfect Man. The Virgin Mary communicated the humanity of the Incarnate God. The redemption of the human race was possible through the union of God and man in Christ. De-emphasis of the sinlessness of Christ's Mother, insistence upon her having other children by Joseph (which cannot be demonstrated by the New Testament), and failure to remember her part in the history of the salvation of mankind have contributed to a general misunderstanding in some churches of the Incarnation in all its fullness and power. Very closely related to the above-mentioned things is the denial of the virgin birth of Christ, a rather popular feature of present-day liberal theology. After the virgin birth, the next basic teaching under attack is the divinity of Christ, and His resurrection, and with that, the Holy Trinity Itself.
The Virgin Mary in the Orthodox view is not regarded as a mediatrix or co-redemptress. She is an intercessor for us, and the content of prayer addressed to her is a request for her intercession. The Orthodox concept of the Church is the basic reason for the invocation of the Theotokos and all the saints. The Militant Church on earth and the Victorious Church in heaven are intimately bound together in love. If it is proper for one sinner to ask another sinner to pray for him, how much more fitting it must be to ask the saints already glorified and near the throne of God to pray for us. Surely, they know something of what goes on here, for else how could there be rejoicing in heaven over the conversion of one sinner? (Luke 15:10) The saints in heaven are equals of the angels (Luke 20:36), who are used by God in the accomplishment of His purpose (Acts 12:7)
There is scriptural evidence to support the traditional Orthodox attitude toward the Virgin Mary and the saints. The other equally valid parts of Tradition also afford abundant evidence of its soundness and importance.
 
 
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The Ever-Virginity of the Mother of God




 
Last year for the Feast of the Nativity, I gave a lecture about one of the central claims of the Christian faith: the Virgin Birth of Christ. This was all well until I used in passing the phrase "ever-virgin" with reference to the Lord's Mother. Someone asked, "Do you actually mean that Mary remained a virgin after Jesus' birth?" I said yes, that is what the Orthodox Church teaches. The look of surprised bemusement on the audience's faces said it all. The miracle of the Virgin Birth is one thing, but lifelong abstinence from sexuality? That's impossible!
The lives of monastics and ascetics around the world and throughout history attest to the fact that of course it is possible. Sexual purity is only one of many challenges set for these spiritual warriors, and for many, perhaps most of them, it is not the greatest. The Orthodox have no difficulty, then, considering the ever-virginity of Mary a nonnegotiable fact and its alternative unthinkable. But why should this necessarily be so? Why insist on the idea that Mary (who was married, after all) did not go on to have a "normal" married life?

A Consistent and Unbroken Tradition

The question could be inverted. Why not believe in her ever-virginity? The Eastern Church has witnessed to the perpetual virginity of the Theotokos steadfastly for two thousand years and shows no sign of tiring. In the West, the idea was largely undisputed until late in the Reformation; even Luther and Calvin accepted the tradition.
Indeed, to suggest (a) that the tradition about her perpetual virginity could have been introduced after apostolic times, (b) that this tradition would have gone little noticed by a Church in the throes of questioning everything about what it believed in the first millennium, (c) that such a novel tradition should be considered inconsequential enough to pass without discussion before it became universally proclaimed, and (d) that such a tradition should have no discernible literary or geographical origin and yet be universally accepted from very early in the Church's history, is to form a very unlikely hypothesis.

Set Apart to God

To argue against Mary's perpetual virginity is to suggest something else that is greatly implausible, not to say unthinkable: that neither Mary nor her protector, Joseph, would have deemed it inappropriate to have sexual relations after the birth of God in the flesh. Leaving aside for a moment the complete uniqueness of the Incarnation of the Second Person of the Trinity, recall that it was the practice for devout Jews in the ancient world to refrain from sexual activity following any great manifestation of the Holy Spirit.
An early first-century popular rabbinical tradition (first recorded by Philo, 20 BC-AD 50) notes that Moses "separated himself" from his wife Zipporah when he returned from his encounter with God in the burning bush. Another rabbinical tradition, concerning the choosing of the elders of Israel in Numbers 7, relates that after God had worked among them, one man exclaimed, "Woe to the wives of these men!" I cannot imagine that the fellow to the left of him replied, "What do you mean, Joe?" The meaning of the statement would have been immediately apparent.
Whether these stories relate actual events or not, they express the popular piety in Israel at the time of the birth of Christ. That culture understood virginity and abstinence not as a mere rejection of something enjoyable--To what end?-- But as something naturally taken up by one whose life has been consecrated by the Lord's Spirit to be a vessel of salvation to His people. The intervening centuries of social, religious, and philosophical conditioning have made us suspicious of virginity and chastity in a way that no one in the Lord's time would have been.
Mary became the vessel for the Lord of Glory Himself, and bore in the flesh Him whom heaven and earth cannot contain. Would this not have been grounds to consider her life, including her body, as consecrated to God and God alone? Or it more plausible that she would shrug it all off and get on with keeping house in the usual fashion? Consider that the poetically parallel incident of the Lord's entry through the east gate of the Temple (in Ezekiel 43-44) prompts the call: "This gate shall be shut; it shall not be opened, and no one shall enter by it, for the Lord God of Israel has entered by it; therefore it shall be shut" (44:2).
And then there is Joseph's character to consider. Surely his wife's miraculous conception and birthgiving (confirmed by the angel in dream-visions) and the sight of God incarnate in the face of the child Christ would have been enough to convince him that his marriage was set apart from the norm. Within Mary's very body had dwelt the second Person of the Trinity. If touching the ark of the covenant had cost Uzzah his life, and if even the scrolls containing the Law, the Psalms, and the Prophets were venerated, certainly Joseph, man of God that he was, would neither have dared nor desired to approach Mary, the chosen of Israel, the throne of God, to request his "conjugal rights"!

The Lord's "Brothers"

There are several questions based on Scripture that are often raised by those skeptical about the doctrine of ever-virginity. The first of these involves the passages which state explicitly that the Lord had "brothers." There are nine such passages: Matthew 12:46-47 and 13:55-56; Mark 3:31-32 and 6:3; Luke 8:19-20; John 2:12 and 7:3-5; Acts 1:14; and 1-Corinthians 9:5. The Greek word used in all these passages and generally translated "brother" is adelphos.
The Septuagint, the ancient Greek translation of the Hebrew Scriptures used by the Apostles (abbreviated LXX) includes specific words for "cousin," notably adelphinos and anepsios, but they are rarely used. The less specific word adelphos, which can mean "brother," "cousin," "kinsman," "fellow believer," or "fellow countryman," is used consistently throughout the LXX, even when cousin or kinsman is clearly the relation described (such as in Genesis 14:14, 16; 29:12; Leviticus 25:49; Jeremiah 32:8, 9, 12; Tobit 7:2; etc.). Lot, for instance, who was the nephew of Abraham (cf. Genesis 11:27-31), is called his brother in Genesis 13:8 and 11:14-16. The point is that the commonly used Greek word for a male relative, adelphos, can be translated "cousin" or "brother" if no specific family relation is indicated.
Is there anywhere a clear statement in the Scriptures establishing Jesus brothers as literally the children of Mary? In fact, there is not. Nowhere is Mary explicitly stated to be the mother of Jesus' brothers. The formula for speaking of the Lord's family is "His mother and His brothers." In Mark the possessive, anavtou"of Him," is inserted before both "His mother" and "His brothers," making a clear distinction. In Acts 1:14, the separation is more pronounced: "Mary the mother of Jesus, and His brothers." Some manuscripts use the conjunctive syn "along with, in company with," so that the text reads "Mary the mother of Jesus, along with His brothers." In any case, Mary is never identified as the mother of Jesus' brothers (nor they as her children), but only as the Mother of Jesus.

The Meaning of "Until"

Another objection to the idea of Mary's perpetual virginity is that the Scriptures use the word "until" or "till" in Matthew 1:25: ". . . and [Joseph] did not know her till she had brought forth her firstborn Son." Whereas in English the word "until" necessarily indicates change after the fact, in the ancient languages of the Bible this is simply not the case. For instance, if we read Deuteronomy 34:6, 2 Samuel 6:23, Psalm 72:7 and 110:1 (as interpreted by Jesus in Matthew 22:42-46), Matthew 11:23 and 28:20, Romans 8:22, and 1 Timothy 4:13, to reference just a few examples, we will see that in none of these passages does the word "until" indicate a necessary change. If it did, then apparently among other things we would be meant to understand that Jesus will at some point stop sitting at the right hand of the Father, and that on some unhappy date in the future He intends to abandon the Church! The use of "until" in Matthew 1:25, then, is purely to indicate that Christ was incarnate of the Holy Spirit and the Virgin Mary, not conceived by Joseph and Mary, since they did not "know" each other "until" the birth. In this context "until" is really synonymous with "before." If on the contrary it were meant in its full contemporary English sense. That is, if it really meant that Joseph and Mary's chaste relationship changed after the birth then the stylistics present another big problem: the reader would have to believe that Matthew was actually inviting contemplation of the couple's later sexual activity. This is doubtful to say the least.

The Meaning of "Firstborn"

Another objection might be based on the word "firstborn," prototokos in Greek. The problem again is that the Greek word is not identical in semantic range to the English rendering. The English "firstborn" usually (though, it must be said, not always) implies the existence of subsequent children, but with prototokos there is no such implication. In Hebrews 1:6, for example, the use of prototokos in reference to the Incarnation of the Word of God cannot mean that there is a "second-born" Word of God! Nowhere is the term used to express merely the order of birth; instead in Romans 8:29, Colossians 1:15, 18, Hebrews 11:28 and 12:23, and Revelation 1:5, the title is applied to Jesus as the privileged and legal Heir of the Kingdom, attesting that He is truly "first in all things." To the contemporary ear, a better translation might indeed be "heir," which is similarly silent on the subject of other children and carries the same legal and poetic force that is intended by "firstborn."

"Woman, Behold Thy Son"

Also, consider the moving passage from St. John's Gospel in which our Lord commits His Mother into the care of St. John as He dies on the Cross. Why would He do so if she had other children to look after her? Jewish custom dictated that the care of a mother would fall to the second born if the firstborn died, and if the widow had no other child she would be left to take care of herself. Since she is without other children, her Son gives her into the care of the beloved disciple. The Women at the Cross and the Identity of the Lord's Brothers. Who exactly are the "brothers of the Lord" if not fellow sons of Mary His mother? (Here, I am gratefully indebted to Fr. Lawrence Farley's article, "The Women at the Cross." [publication ref?]) A close study of the women at the Cross in Matthew 27:55, 56 yields a plausible answer. These women were said to be:
(1) Mary Magdalene;
(2) the mother of the sons of Zebedee;
(3) Mary the Mother of James and Joseph. In the parallel passage in Mark 15:40, 41, the women are said to be:
(1) Mary Magdalene;
(2) Salome;
(3) Mary the mother of James the Less and of Joses.
In John 19:25, the women are listed as:
(1) Mary Magdalene;
(2) Christ's Mother;
(3) His mother's sister, Mary wife of Clopas.
For our purposes we should focus on the woman who is referred to by St. Matthew as "Mary the mother of James and Joseph," by St. Mark as "Mary the mother of James the Less and of Joses [a variant of Joseph]," and by St. John in his list as "His mother's sister, Mary wife of Clopas."
Note that in Matthew the names "James and Joseph" were mentioned before. Indeed, the way Matthew mentions "Mary mother of James and Joseph" in 27:55, 56 presupposes that he has already introduced these "James and Joseph" as indeed he has. In Matthew 13:55, we read that our Lord's "brothers" are "James and Joseph and Simon and Judas." Similarly, in St. Mark's Gospel, "James and Joses" are mentioned as if we already know who "James and Joses" are, which in fact we do from Mark 6:3, where Christ's "brothers" are listed as "James and Joses and Judas and Simon."
It seems beyond reasonable dispute that the Mary at the Cross in St. Matthew and St. Mark is the mother of our Lord's "brothers," "James and Joses." Also, it is inconceivable that Matthew and Mark would refer to the Lord's Mother at the foot of the Cross as the mother of James and Joseph, but not mention that she is the Mother of Jesus as well!
If it is the case, as the Scriptures suggest, that Mary wife of Clopas is the same as the mother of James and Joseph, we have the following conclusion: the Theotokos had a "sister," married to Clopas, who was the mother of James and Joseph, our Lord's "brothers." Here, the question ought to immediately arise concerning the Theotokos' relationship to this Mary: What kind of "sister" is she?
Hegisippus, a Jewish Christian historian who, according to Eusebius, "belonged to the first generation after the apostles" and who interviewed many Christians from that apostolic community for his history, relates that Clopas was the brother of St. Joseph, foster-father of Christ (apud. Eusb. Eccl. H. iv:22). If this is so (and Hegisippus is generally acknowledged as fully reliable), then "Mary wife of Clopas" was the Virgin Mary's "sister" in that she was her sister-in-law.
The puzzle therefore fits together. St. Joseph married the Virgin Theotokos, who gave birth to Christ, her only Child, preserving her virginity and having no other children. St. Joseph's brother, Clopas, also married a woman named Mary, who had the children James and Joseph (along with Judas and Simon, and daughters also). These children were our Lord's "brothers" (using the terminology of Israel, which as we have seen made no distinction between brothers and cousins but referred to all as "brothers").
St. Matthew and St. Mark, focusing on our Lord's family (Matthew 13:53ff and Mark 6:1ff), naturally refer to Clopas wife Mary as "the mother of James and Joseph (Joses)." St. John, on the other hand, focuses on our Lord's Mother (cf. John 2:1ff) and just as naturally refers to this same woman as "His mother's sister, Mary wife of Clopas." But it is apparent that it is one and the same woman being referred to by all. This reconstruction is the best that can be made (though others exist, they all contain serious weaknesses) given both the Scriptural and historical evidence.

Why Mary's Ever-Virginity is Important

Some would say that even if it can be proved, Mary's ever-virginity is not essential to the proclamation of the Gospel, and this is true on a certain level. In its essence, the Orthodox Church proclaims the Gospel of Jesus Christ. This is our message, our reason for being, the very life of our life. Teaching about Mary is really meant for the initiates, those who have already accepted the Gospel and have committed themselves to Christ and to service in His Church.
This is so because what Mary teaches us about the Incarnation of the Word of God requires that we first accept the Incarnation. Once we do, then her virginity not only after birthgiving, but also before and indeed the character of her entire life become in themselves a wellspring of teaching about life in Christ and the glory of God. Indeed, she said as much herself. By stating that "all generations shall call me blessed," Mary was not vainly contemplating her own uniqueness, but proclaiming the wonder that her life was to manifest God's glorious victory in His Christ for all time.
Mary was not a happenstance vessel of God; rather her role in our salvation was prepared from the beginning of the ages. The entire history of Israel, the patriarchs, the psalms, the prophets, the giving of the commandments converged in the young woman who would answer the way all Israel should always have answered, and as we all are expected to answer now: "Behold the handmaiden of the Lord."
But her purpose in salvation history did not end there. She was not cast aside as an article that is no longer useful. Instead her whole being and life would continue to point us without distraction to her Son. At the wedding of Cana in Galilee we hear her words: "Whatever He says to you, do it" (John 2:5). At her
Son's crucifixion, she stands fast at the foot of the Cross, this time pointing not with words but by her refusal to leave His side even in the face of what seemed an impossible nightmare. As we undertake to imitate this faithfulness in pointing always to God, we will begin to see in the same measure that Mary's perpetual virginity is in fact her ever-ministry, the ideal example for our own ministry.
It is important to recover the proper veneration of Mary which the apostolic Church has always held, not because Mary is the great exception but, as one Orthodox theologian has said, because she is the great example. This veneration is beautifully expressed in an Orthodox hymn that poetically recounts Gabriel's first encounter with Mary, who was about to become the Ark of the New Covenant, the throne of God, the flesh which gave flesh to the Word of God:
Awed by the beauty of your virginity
and the exceeding radiance of your purity,
Gabriel stood amazed, and cried to you, O Mother of God:
"What praise may I offer you
that is worthy of your beauty?
By what name shall I call you?
I am lost and bewildered,
but I shall greet you as I was commanded:
Hail, O full of grace."

Thanks to source:

https://www.goarch.org/-/the-ever-virginity-of-the-mother-of-god